Is every snowflake different?

I start to think it's all connected. That every little thing matters. Everything. Is the whole world just a big cause and effect, like a snowball building impossible speed down a mountainside? And then just as soon as I start to think even what words I type here on this computer sitting in Panera surrounded by unknown souls could quite possibly change the entire course of my life, I decide that NOTHING matters. Nothing. Maybe it's all just like marbles in a jar. Sure, they're in there, but eh, who really cares how many. They just are. My past is my past, it makes me who I am, but it just is. Or rather, it was. The way that I treat people matters only to the extent that it changes them. But, in the end, all the compilation of millions of words and thoughts just ARE.

That is if there is nothing more than humanity. If every little thing matters it will cause humanity to have a superfluous purpose, but a purpose nonetheless. Simply the idea that everything matters will cause us to be conscious of WHY, and of HOW and of WHAT difference it all makes. On the other extreme, if nothing matters it strips humanity of the need to create false purposes and allows us to live as humans, basking in the experience of being human. It would grant us the freedom to truly discover our is-ness, as that is all that there is. That is if there is nothing more than humanity.

But you can see how both of these ideas would eventually lead to a circular reasoning and drive one into the opposite extreme, only in a few years to reverse into the extreme they held before right? So what if there's some hidden truth or purpose. If you happen to believe in the existence of truth, then you also believe in the law of non-contradiction: 2 opposite things cannot both be true in the same place at the same time. Okay, so what if I can hold that none of my beliefs are in any way connected and instead say my beliefs just ARE. What if I don't want to hold beliefs that lead to other beliefs and so on. I'll just let my beliefs exist on their own. Not possible. All of our beliefs come from a baseline. They have to come from somewhere. Even if our foundational purpose changes daily, our beliefs stem from somewhere. Naturalists claim that it is forced upon us by our evolutionary nature- we are given morals and reasoning by evolution. Okay, sure. Whatever. Christians claim that our beliefs come from the creator of belief itself and that each thing we believe has purpose. Okay, sure. And humanists think that humans have innate value granted to them by evolution and that is the crux of their entire mission. But, returning to the idea of truth: if truth is truth then I can most certainly be mistaken. I can absolutely believe something false. Why is this important? Because it establishes that there must be a baseline of truth. If you don't believe in knowledge or truth you've just told me that you have the knowledge of your belief that you assert there is no truth, and that you believe is true. Okay, sure. Whatever. This doesn't apply to you then. The point is that there can be true truth and there can be false truth.

I think truth is kind of like waking up on a saturday morning. It's so so bright, and it hurts your eyes so much, but you know you have to open them to be able to love that day, to be able to interact with the sunshine. And just because you keep your eyes closed does not mean that you can make the sunshine go away, no matter how hard you try. Truth is truth whether you believe it or not, whether you have discovered it or not.